I totally forgot this blog...

Hello again!
It has been 2 years already since I last uploaded something in here... How lame.

My life has changed a lot through this 2 years, I'll sum it up a bit:
1. I retook my first college year so I could get higher marks
2. I got to know loads of beautiful people who are now my friends
3. I started working out and eating less and now I suffer of minor anorexia
4. I suffer of deep depresion and I even self harm.

I don't really know if I got better or not.

<a href="http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/4357385/Evoluci%C3%B3" 
          title="Wordle: Evolució"><img
          src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/4357385/Evoluci%C3%B3"
          alt="Wordle: Evolució"
          style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd"></a>

Awwwww :3

Hi rererereaders! <3

I've got a feeling, a feeling into my stomach! (I just had dinner, would that be the reason?)

You know, like butterflies into my, something which goes all over my chest. I think I'm in love.

These last days I have been feeling strange and I got a bit angry when I was thinking about him and people interrupted me.. But that's not all:

Yesterday, I was talking to a classmate (also a friend) whose name is Guadalupe. She really is funny and acts like a baby (I also like acting like that...) and we talked about our Physics teacher. She agreed with me saying he's a great great great great teacher, but he's lack of experience with kids as us. Also, we talked about facts that happened in class, you know, he was teaching something out of Physics, and people asked why we were studying that. We saw how his hear broke easy... He was just trying to share all his knowledge, is it really difficult to look interested and make him happy? Please guys, act a bit in front of others so they can share their dreams and thoughts with you. Even if you're not interested, we always have to be kind.

Well so we were talking and talking and we agreed we need to make him know he's a great teacher and so on, so we're planning on something.. I'll tell you when it is prepared!

Another fact that has affected so so much today is.. waaaaah I'm just feeling nervous thinking about it!
Today our Philosophy teacher wasn't at school because he was lost on the mountains or he broke while he was climbing a mountain or something (poor him) so we had a free hour. We did some homework and arrived 10 minutes early at the class, so we sat at the floor in front of the class (the class was full of people doing English) and then our Physics teacher came. We waited sitting and ... he sat at my side! I was so freakin' upset! I never had a teacher sitting by my side, also on the floor and so, and we told us it was prohibited to sit on the floors of school (it is, but nobody cares) and he said it was okay or something.. I didn't listen because I was thinking some kind of joke or something to make him laugh.. But the bell rang so fast I couldn't say nothing (or time just passed so fast for me?). 

Then, while we were waiting to people of the class to go out, I was holding some kind of brush and mirror, you know, all in one, and he asked me what was that. I was going to tell him but a boy said it first and adkskjh!! You know? ME, I WAS going to tell him! Anyway I did! FTW!
Well I showed him and I said; every girl has got one, it's necessary! And my mind thought: I'd like to brush your beard haha<3

Well so that's what happened today... And I really want him to like me, because he's the kind of guy you wanna be with, to protect.. or something.
Also, in the afternoon (fuck, I forgot my homework!) I talked even more to my classmate Guada and she confessed she is always feels attracted to teachers, and I also do, but I think this time with Marc is different.

Will it be? See you next time with fresh news about my heart!

Does love REALLY exist?

Hello readers.
I've got a huge problem. Yeah, this problem is what you think it is. This problem which tortures our lives, a problem which is there once or twice or lots of times on our lives. Yeah, I'm talking about love.

Do I love? Do I have to love? Or do I have to be loved? But, does love really exist? Well, I can answer the third one for sure: Love exist. But not the way we think it is.
As our biology teacher said once, love exists. You know, I love this man (not in the couple way), he's amazing, he know about everything, has studied everything and so on. So I believe love exists if he says so.
The big shock was after saying this big truth, he said love is just chemicals. When e're in love, we release some kind of chemicals and the other person also does, and we receive both, and then is when mutual love exists. Then, love lasts just for 6 years. When this time has passed, you really stop loving that special someone, that, over those years, has became the normal someone, the ordinary someone, when things aren't just the same. Time to change partners.
And at my age (17), I'd have been in real love like 3 times. I wonder if what I felt was really just a chemical, or my soul was really trying to share love to another soul.

Well, after this big big introduction, I have to do a confession or maybe a question: Do I love my teacher?
Doesn't it look like a question from Yahoo Answers? A simple English question, with just five words, is really panicking me.
As I said in older posts, I was in love with my Philosophy teacher. But, he already is married, has got a son and a daughter, and he really looks like he's so happy, and I couldn't make him even more. I just knew. I even tried. Just looking into his black eyes, was much for me. He, as an adult, thought I was just interested on his subject, but the truth is, I was so much in love with him. And I still am.

But in Wednesday 13th of this month, I met someone: my Physics teacher, called Marc (my Philosophy teacher was called Manel, so I'm sure my unconscious part really likes men with M starting names), who first, I really did not care about him. He was like two classes talking about ancient Greeks or something, I didn't really listened, I just looked at him. Not few days after the first class, I noticed I was waiting for his classes.
And when I was with him, everything was funnier, and I felt like I was starting to release some chemicals. Yeah I was in love now and then.
Things that must have influenced my love for him: for example, comparing our hands. The second or third day with him, I don't know how, he said he got big hands. You know, I also have got big but feminine hands, just for being a woman, so I compared with him. That's part of the story.
Also, I'm sure him looking my book too much close to me, and then looking to my eyes just like that, you know, we were just 10 cm away or so. Too much for my heart.

To sum up, Love exists, I love him and I find him interesting, and now I'm trying to tell it to my friend. Let's see what happens!

2nd, 3d days of school and Friday.

Let's get started!

Last Thursday, we started our day with Phisics, with the strange guy who did not stop talking about philosophy for the whole fucking hour. Then we got Tutourish, which is a class designed for getting helped by your class teacher (they never do that) and we just talked the whole hour. I did homework. Then we got a Math exam which it was pretty easy but for two questions. Break with my friend. English. I think I did not talk about him: He was my teacher on 4rth ESO (2 years ago) and he organised a letter sending activity, we wrote to people from Heidelberg, Germany. And the best English speakers went to Germany! Horray! I went there with Lisa, my pen-pal friend and we practised lots of English in that December. Then, on february or so, she came to Spain as exchange and we really got fun :)
Well, so my English teacher is pretty "male" he prefers boys to girls, and he is always acting "cool" in front of us. But he's a good teacher, unless on his speaking. He really sucks!
At 12:30 we started Biology, and then Chemicals. We hadn't done Catalan or E.F. (Gimnastics) yet.

Next day, Friday, we started with Maths, and the teacher gave us back our tests (she really is fast correcting tests), and I got 7.5/10, almost 8 which is my aim on everything. Then we got English again, but just half of our class was with our normal teacher (the upper half, I was there), and the other half with my last year teacher (she's good at English, but she's quite a bitch), and we did speakings. At 10 o'clock we did Catalan. I'm always nervous when we have the frist hour of Catalan or Spanish because I don't know how the class will be, and those two lenguages are really hard for me, so I need good teachers or else I fail. I was expecting the normal catalan teacher who's always saying shhhh. I fucking hate those SH. I mean, just yell teacher, say to them to shut the fuck up and we can study and learn, it is for my own good you know? She did know! Our newbe class teacher entered the class making people shut up and going directly to the point, showing official exams that we're studying for (for enter a career) and she said we would get her exams like that. Well done! That way we can start getting prepared! She also said she was giving a lesson and she expected us to be at the level, not lower, and if we were lower we should ask her or do anything, but she won't lower the level for people stupid like me. And I liked that. And all the speaking with just half an hour, then she started teaching us lessons an with just the other half of hour we did like 2 page work, and she already gave us lots of homework. I really admire her and her method. Break. Then we did Voleyball on gimnastics and we won! Out teacher, is one's of the best teachers I ever had: he's comprehensive but strict. Nothing else to say, simply as pie. Then biology. Lass hour Physics. Finally he taught us some and gave us some homework! Hallelujah!


And today, Friday, my mum woke up me early (at 8.30) because I met with a classmate. We went to the official kennel to walk some dogs! Finally we were like 4 people of my age more or less there. You know, I'm a bit afraid of dogs, but I really like them. Strange, yeah? That's me. So I started walking some little ones with another girl of my class (Jini) and we walked 3 dogs, one her (the most "difficult") and me the other two. It was difficult walking two dogs at the time because one run while the other one stopped, or they matched sites and I had to switch straps.. Anyways, it was a funny experience, and I'm doing it again, of course!
On afternoon I went to the library to do aaaaaaaall the homework, and I stayed there since the opening (4.30) to 8.30 (almost closing time, it is at 9 o'clock). There a guy sat next to me (a hot one btw) and he asked me how Internet worked, and we got some difficulties and finally made it work. Then a ugly guy in front of me who thought I was watching him, but I was watching my computer screen! Haha so funny!
Then I went home, my family told me Barcelona scored 8 goals to Osasuna! LOL!
Later, while I was patting my bunny my dad did a fun thing and I laughed so hard I broke a dish.



So those are my last 3 days! Tomorrow I'm sleeping like I'm not sleeping anymor in my life. I promise! Good night dear readers!

Frist day of school. WOW

Hi guys! Have you started school already?

Yeah, so we started classes on Tuesday, and we started doing Maths.
Our maths teacher was a math teacher I got long time ago (like 2 years ago), and she really is a great teacher. She gets mad often, well, not mad, "she just says thing with energy". You know, we didn't even say a word on class during the presentation and she already was yelling. But as said, she's a great teacher.

From 9:00 to 10:00 we've got Biology with the same teacher last year: you know, I'm redoing this year because I hadn't got enough good marks. He's a very good teacher, one from the old school, a bit strict (in the way that he doesn't allow any talkie talkie on class) and a very good guy, but he tries to hide it so people doesn't see him as an easy guy. I love his classes.

CMC - Ciències per al món contemporani- was the third lesson, with a teacher who taught me Science when i was 15, the CMC teacher last year and this year. His kind of cute, but he's old enough to be my mother's friend. Yeah, they were friends, and when I asked him last year he just got a bit upset. Did he love my mum? Or did she love him? It's something I have to investigate. Lol

BREAK! 30 minutes talking with my friend and just joking: I couldn't stop laughing, I haven't seen him this summer!

After eating a sandwich we've done Spanish. I HATE IT. This is the worst subject of all. It is not my beloved language (Catalan), it's an oppressive language that is just used for breaking or culture. Also the teacher sucks: she was my tutor 3-4 years ago and also my Spanish teacher and she sucks so much. My friend who's new at class asked me if she was retard because she speaks so slowly, and he made me think, because she's such an asshole she looks retard (I'm sorry for you retards, but you should have more opportunities than her)

Then, 12.30 to 13.30 we had class with our tutor; he teaches Chemicals. It's a cool subject (lots of maths), but I don't understand the vocabulary very well so I always fail. Another fact is that this teacher was an asshole too last year, but this year seems like he likes this class (he gave classes to them last year) so he's acting normal and kind of friendly. I bet he gets mad within a week!

And the best one, the last subject! Yeaaaah this one and the first day will be over! And it was English! The teacher was my English teacher 2 years ago, and he organised a letter exchange and thanks to him we went to Heidelberg, Germany, in peoples' houses to practice english for a week. Just an amazing experience, I'm waiting for a next exchange. In Germany I met a girl called Lisa, and she was so cute and kind I really appreciate her ^^
Well he talked a bit at english and he gave us a test, an easy one, and I saw there's lot of people who it's hard for them, and the others are so good they finished before me.

Well, this was my first day, what do you think? Tomorrow as new subjects I've got Philosophy with the same last year teacher who I got a crush on. He's really smart and I like that! And I also have got Physics as new subject, with a new teacher, but he looks like the old one but in bald!


And also, I have already spent 3 hours and half on doing homework and studying for this Thursday exam. WTF an exam already? Yes, a Math exam.

Happy 11 September.

Hello guys!

Hey! Don't be upset! Why I'm saying HAPPY 11 SEPTEMBER? Well, because like one or two centuries ago, my country was invaded by Spanish people, and everyone, including farmguys, fought for freedom. We celebrate that we lost.

Also, 10 years ago, in 2001, a plane crashed with Twin Towers, leaving behind a shocked USA and lots of deaths, so I want to say, I'm sorry for all people who lost someone in that crash.


Anyways, today I went to the beach (I dived a lot and I saw lots of fish!) with my family, to celebrate that today our vacancy is ending (tomorrow there IS school). Oh and also, today's my bunny birthday! He's 5 years old now! <3

Me eating an ice-cream!

Bye bye and enjoy your routine! >-<